15 things I wish I was told, when I was in my 20s A thread…

  1. Your grades in college are not going to define your life. The first company you work for is not going to define your life. Your first pay package is not going to define your life.
  1. Every time you are tempted to follow someone else’s path, stop and ask yourself “Is this MY definition of success? Or theirs’s?”
  1. Optimize for your learning, not your salary. Optimize for progress, not for stability. Optimize for facing fears, not for comfort.
  1. Don’t place the burden on one person to be your mentor. Don’t think of mentors are only those that are much older and experienced. Pick multiple mentors for different aspects of your life. Pick mentors who see the world differently and ask you questions.

It baffles me how much of an individual’s life gets shaped up in their 20s and how little guidance there is around, on how to navigate through this decade. Some lucky ones go through it well. Most struggle. And I often wonder why does that have to be the case.

I think there are 2 reasons 1. We do not listen to those who have had a tough or not so successful life, because in our head, “if they didn’t follow their own advice, why should we”? Well, those are EXACTLY the ones we should be listening to.

  1. People who did make mistakes and learnt their lessons, do not share because in their head, “if we couldn’t make it in life, what right do we have teaching others?” Well, those are EXACTLY the ones who should be sharing.

Those in your 20s Look around you. People are full of regret. Understand what led to that regret. That will tell you what not to do.

Those beyond their 20s Look at you. You are full of regret. You know what led to that regret. Tell others about it, so that they know what not to do.

Do not chose the person you learn from. Chose what you learn from them.

  1. Who and why you decide to spend your life with - is one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life. Don’t take it lightly.
  1. Don’t go to college looking for a job, a title, a company, a function, a role, a salary. Go to college looking for yourself. “What am I good at?” “What makes me happy?”
  1. This decade you will either drift away from your family or not be able to break from their shackles or realize they are extremely dear to you. What will you regret not doing, when you are 40?
  1. If your school friends keep dragging you down and pulling you back and make you feel bad about “growing too fast”, fire them! Don’t feel guilty for not wanting them in your life.
  1. No one expects you to be rich, during this decade. So don’t act like you are rich. Live like a pauper. Invest any and every money you get. Avoid loans. Don’t buy a house. Don’t buy things that you think will make people like you more. Those people are not worth pleasing!
  1. This decade will be when you will be judged the most. Your college. Your job. Your car, your phone, your clothes, your choices. Remember that people judge because they want to feel good about themselves. It has nothing to do with you. It is their insecurity.
  1. Who you spend time with, will define the stories you hear. The stories you hear, will define the stories in your head. The stories in your head, will define you. Chose who you spend time with, wisely!
  1. You are not the only one confused. You are not the only one unsure. You are not the only one struggling. You are not dumb, inadequate, incapable. Everyone is struggling. Everyone is figuring it out. Don’t be harsh on yourself.
  1. While you are building your skills, the most important thing to build is your reputation. Your goal is to make people say “I am not sure if she knows how to do it. But I am certain if told to do it, she will definitely figure it out. I trust her.”
  1. When you say you have 5 years of experience, is it 5 years of experience or 1 year of experience done 5 times over? Don’t ever get comfortable in your job.
  1. That thing you imagine to be the worst thing ever? When it happens, it will feel like that. The worst thing ever. You will get up everyday and it will be the first thing you will think of. Until one day, when it won’t be! The worst thing you imagine, isn’t the worst thing.